It is 2:30 in the morning, i m going to France in several hours now, and I can t sleep, don t ask me why I don t know, no I know why, I just need some holidays! So since i m awake, I m doing a post. So, I remembered reading a post on Swats' blog about Call Center, and how tough it can be to work for it and why people are doing it just for money. After my master degree s because my English really sucks by that time (FYI: I m French for those who did not know), I moved to Philadelphia then Cincinnati for a year to learn English. When I came to France a year later, I could not find any job, they told you know 'u did a diploma for the jobs of Tomorrow' ok how about today? Due to our lack of new technologies by that time, and the fact that I was bored not doing a job, I moved to south of Ireland to work as a Technical Support Agent ;) One year and 6 months, I did it as much as I could, it was not a job for me, so not a job for me. I had some fun, but most of the time my best friend was the 'mute' button, the one where u can hear the client but he can t hear swearing! So I thought I can share a some souvenirs with u to see how 'fun' it is to answer people who spent 2000 euros in a computer and don t know how to use it ;)

Call 1 [uk customer]:
ME: Welcome to [...], my name is [...], may I take your name please.
Client: j... [ he spoke so fast that i did not heard his name] I have a problem with Final Cut Pro [software]
ME: FCP is supported by the Enterprise department, before I can transfer I need your contact details Sir
Client: Transfer me to Enterprise [using a tone like he does not give a shit anymore of what i m saying]
ME: Sir, I can t transfer u to Enterprise If i don t get your contact details
Client: y do u need that, transfer me to enterprise
ME: Sir, as I said [mute: 3 times already u son of b....! / mute off: nice voice] No contact details No transfer [ sometimes the shorter the better]
Client: Thanks for being a pain in the ass
ME: [with the nicest voice ever and just before he hang up on me] You are very welcome Sir ;)
[ In UR FACE!!!!!!]

Call 2 [French customer around 70 years]:
Client: I have a problem with my machine, it freezes
ME: all right sir, can you click on the Apple menu [mac computer, Apple menu= start in windows]
Client: what apple
ME: the blue apple in the top left corner of your screen
Client: wait, I m looking for it
ME: [ mute: OMG, I m gonna spend an hour with Grandpa now] Did u find it?
Client: One minute young lady, I m old and almost deaf and blind i need time
ME: [mute: did I say one hour!!!!!!!!]
Client: AH! I found it, what do I do
ME: click on it
Client: Hold on, it s not a blue apple
ME: [mute: OMG!] what do you mean it s not a blue apple
Client: nope mine is yellow
ME: [mute: seriously! is blind or color-blind] Sir, there is no yellow apple
Client: I m telling u sweetie mine is yellow, wait... ah.... no there is some red as it s like a rainbow apple
ME: [ mute: AHHHHH!!!!!!] All right sir, the rainbow apple means that you have Mac OS 9 on your computer [ which is like Windows 95, really old version] let me transfer you to the right department [mute: YES!!!!!]
Client: thank u sweetie
He was a nice client at least we had some... sometimes.



Call 3 (uk customer):
ME: how can I help you sir
Client: I don t want to be rude with you but may I speak to somebody who has a better English
ME: [mute: U are rude u b@#$%!] I m sorry Sir but I can t transfer u to an other agent, u can hang up and call back if you want, u might be routed to Greece or Bangalore call center [ see call 4].


Call 4 (uk customer):
Client: where I am?
ME: TEchSupport
Client: is it in Ireland?
ME: yes
Client: Are u sure
ME: [mute: wait, let me check outside, yep yep it s raining like hell, i m definitively in Ireland] yes Sir
Client: no because I was on a phone with Bangalore I can t understand this
ME: what do u mean?
Client: the accent, they have a weird accent [mute: oh poor thing, grrrrrr]
I used my worst french accent during the rest of conversation ;)


Call 5 (uk customer):
ME: how can I help you sir
Client: may I speak to a technician please?
ME: you are speaking to a technician
Client: no I mean a 'male' technician
ME: [mute: you b@#$#% f#%#$^ arffff, i case u haven t heard the expression 'Excuse My French' well here I am, we do have a huge vocabulary in terms of swearing words ;)] Well, unfortunately sir, I can not transfer u to a male technician, u have two options : u can hang up and call back, but i might be available again and u might have me again OR I can fix ur problem in 5 min, it is really up to u
Client: Fine!


Last one [uk customer, old lady]:
Client: yes I m calling because UPS went to my home for the delivery but i was not there, they told me I have to call u
ME: all right Madam, I m gonna take your details and we ll see what I can do for u
Client: thank you
[She gave me her details number, I can t find her in our systems]
ME: I can t find you, can you tell what kind of computer is it
Client: computer?
ME: yes for the delivery
Client: oh no no no, It s not a computer, it s a rocking horse
ME: I m sorry what?
Client: yes a rocking horse for my grand daughter birthday!
ME: Madam, this is a technical support, we do not sell rocking horse
Client: Oh really [mute: yes Really grandma!] oh i m sorry sweetie, can you give their phone numbers then for the rocking horse [mute: no I can t grandma, i m a TECH support]
ME: i am really sorry madam, I do not have this number, you should call back ups
Client: no worries, thank you my love
She was a really nice lady anyway ;)
As i said there is some good and bad memories in my work as a techsupport, spending 8 hours on the phone each day is not healthy and not wealthy either. Now when i arrived at work and I see the phone, I m glad i don t have to wear the headphones anymore, he is a part of the furniture on my desk now ;)
Have you been working on in a callcenter and had a funny experience with a customer or have ever called a callcenter and talk to a rude agent?