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Monday Evening Jokes 6
Here is a late version of the 6th edition of the Monday Morning Jokes, let s call it the Monday Evening Jokes, been busy at work sorry ;(
Let s make it short, here are the jokes ... Enjoy!
Breast feeding?
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
"Breast fed," the woman replied.
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.
Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk."
"I know,"she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."
Little Nancy's Pet
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
The Local Strip Club
Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.''
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'' ''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?''
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.
The cabby turns his head and says, ''Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!''
The Monday Evening Video:... still Russell Peters... white parenting ;)
Let s make it short, here are the jokes ... Enjoy!
Breast feeding?
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
"Breast fed," the woman replied.
"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.
Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight! You don't have any milk."
"I know,"she said, "I'm his grandmother, but I'm glad I came."
Little Nancy's Pet
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."
The Local Strip Club
Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.''
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'' ''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?''
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.
The cabby turns his head and says, ''Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!''
The Monday Evening Video:... still Russell Peters... white parenting ;)
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21 people read it till the end and comment on it ;):
so funny. look at that baby. i love russell peters.
niceeeeeee
wowww Cess
i really look foward to ur MMJs..
its such a pleasure to read ur jokes..
LOL@Breast feeding hehe
sorry dear..
just been busy havent been able to post much.. sorryy
i sooo loovvveee russell peters .. he'sssss soooo gooodddd..
he's got shows in india.. damn missin that :(
thanks for the monday evening jokes.. considering i am reading on tuesday nite.. hehe oh well.. hope u r ok.. did read ur previous post.. hope its all under control now..
haha tat was so very funny gal..
and ur comment section.u made me laugh on tat too
LOL:):)
nippple joke was like hahaha.. the cow picture was awesome.. and russel peters rocks
@ Kiran
Everybody love Russell Peters ;)
tc
C.
@r3d3mption
Thanks for passing by, glad u like it ;)
Cheers
C.
@ swats
I m happy to have a fan of my MMJ ;)
tc
C.
@ani
Hope u re not busy too much anymore sweetie ;)
Do u know that Russell Peters is doing a show in london the 14th of Feb next year, i might go there to see his show :)
C.
PS: I m ok
@ priya joyce
he he, i m happy people can laugh ;)
keep laughing
C.
@ Renu
Hi, glad to have u back here and make u laugh ;)
tc
C.
@ chriz
I m a big fan of cows what can i say ;) and Russell Peters does rock ;)
tc
C.
cess
hehe i'm a bit busy dear..
till end of this month.. going off to belgium for a conference.. have hit the panic button.. :(
so yehh..
is he reallyy.. send me the link to book the tickets.. oh my gwd how did i miss tht..
he he, it s in my mac at home, i ll send u the link tonite.
I m gonna try to go, but i need to change the address of credit card before to receive the ticket stupid thing.
Anyway, i ll send it to u ;)
C.
hey dont worry.. hehe just got the link.. but i forgot my cards at home.. damnn damn damn.. oops mind my language..
now am sooo excited.. hehe
@ ani
He he me too, maybe if i m coming there too, we could meet at some point ;)
C.
i know sure sure.. :)
will let u know.. hope by the time i get home i get the tickets for it.. :(
:))
Cess MWAH!
I'll be gone only for awhile...dun be sad..u can email me anytime ok? Im gonna miss u all too. Im not blue...just a time-out from all the stress here in Blogville.
Im gonna miss ya too! :(
*HUGZ* see ya when I see ya next! TC now.
Keshi.
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