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Monday Morning/Evening Jokes 7
Welcome to the 7th edition of the Monday Morning Jokes which became lately the Monday Evening Jokes ;) but hey, u still have it on monday right! Maybe not in Australia though, but anyway here are the jokes....
Gardening:
One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass".
The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can''t afford a thing to eat."
So the layer said, "Poor guy, come back to my house."
The guys then said, "But I have a wife and three kids." The lawyer told him to bring them along.
When they were all in the car, the poor man said, "Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you."
The layer said, "You''re going to love it there, the grass is a foot tall."
A man with a peg leg, hook hand and... :
A man with a peg leg, hook hand and an eye patch went to apply to be a pirate.
Interviewer: How did you get that peg leg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eye patch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.
That's A Buncha Bull
A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight. Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that where was a six-week waiting list to get to eat the loser's balls. So he signed up and came back six weeks later. When he got his meal, there were two teeny, teeny balls on his plate. He called the waiter over to complain.
"I've waited six weeks for bull balls. What are these?"
"Sir," the waiter said, "the bull doesn't always lose."
The video of the day: have u heard of ventriloquist?
I came across a video in youtube, man these guys are brilliant, how can they do that inside their mouth I don t understand, they said they practice for years and years but man i wish i can do that for fun! Let me introduce u Jeff Dunham and Peanut, so funny, this guy also have Achmed the dead terrorist and the old granpa Walter very funny too!!!!
There is also some other very funny ventriloquist like Kevin Johnson with Mathilda and Clyde, or an excellent ventriloquist and his puppet so him are incredibly good singer like this one doing Etta James! Tery Fator and Emma Taylor
Have a good week ahead u People!
Gardening:
One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass".
The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can''t afford a thing to eat."
So the layer said, "Poor guy, come back to my house."
The guys then said, "But I have a wife and three kids." The lawyer told him to bring them along.
When they were all in the car, the poor man said, "Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you."
The layer said, "You''re going to love it there, the grass is a foot tall."
A man with a peg leg, hook hand and... :
A man with a peg leg, hook hand and an eye patch went to apply to be a pirate.
Interviewer: How did you get that peg leg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eye patch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.
That's A Buncha Bull
A man was visiting Spain and passed by a restaurant in Madrid after a bullfight. They were advertising that they served the balls of the bull who lost the bullfight. Intrigued, the man went inside, only to find that where was a six-week waiting list to get to eat the loser's balls. So he signed up and came back six weeks later. When he got his meal, there were two teeny, teeny balls on his plate. He called the waiter over to complain.
"I've waited six weeks for bull balls. What are these?"
"Sir," the waiter said, "the bull doesn't always lose."
The video of the day: have u heard of ventriloquist?
I came across a video in youtube, man these guys are brilliant, how can they do that inside their mouth I don t understand, they said they practice for years and years but man i wish i can do that for fun! Let me introduce u Jeff Dunham and Peanut, so funny, this guy also have Achmed the dead terrorist and the old granpa Walter very funny too!!!!
There is also some other very funny ventriloquist like Kevin Johnson with Mathilda and Clyde, or an excellent ventriloquist and his puppet so him are incredibly good singer like this one doing Etta James! Tery Fator and Emma Taylor
Have a good week ahead u People!
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9 people read it till the end and comment on it ;):
for me itz tusday morning, but a laugh @ morning is a good thing :-D hilarious video.. achemed the dead is hilarious.. :)
Yeah, I like Jeff Dunham's act!
He's really good.
You were wondering how ventriloquists do it? Well I did a research on it once, its an art that u get to learn; there are even art schools that teach ventriloquism. There's are exercises that are done for the way u'll talk without moving ur lips.
Hey nice ones !! Looking here after a long time.. Have added you to my blogosphere friends..So will know what will u be up to ;)
Liked the post !!
@--xh--
AH finally u re back in my comment section, i was wondering what have u been up to!!! Are u back on track in the blogville now?
tc
C.
@ afronuts
Hi there, i know these guys are awesome. I wish i could learn it for fun!
Cheers
C.
@ prashant sree
hey, thank u for adding me on ur blogshpere friends list ;)
tc
C.
PS: u are already on my bloglist ;)
wow!! Those were nice:):)
Had a small laugh:) And yea, I always wanted to learn the art of ventriloquism, it defies everything and would be fun if we can use it in our normal lives!
P.S: I'm following you now:)
@Shrav
Glad u like it
++it defies everything and would be fun if we can use it in our normal lives!++ true, i wish i could learn it ;)
tc
C.
PS: and thank u for following me ;)
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