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- Waiting end of August to be back to France and see my family...

- 'Summer' is almost over here .... ;(

- It is migraines' week.... ;(
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November the 15th...


November the 14th, 3:30AM in red was displayed on her alarm clock. She stared at it and sighed.
She turned back in her bed, closed her eyes, forcing herself to sleep for a change. She breath loudly...rubbed her eyes, stared at the ceiling without really looking. She finally got up, thinking she would not be able to sleep again for today.
Went to the kitchen, opened the fridge and poured herself a glass of water. She went to the living room, sat on the couch, turned on the TV.

It was not unusual as matter of fact it became a routine for the past 4 years. She woke up every night at 3.30 in the morning, looked at the ceiling, drink a glass of water and watch tv till 5. Sometimes she would fall in sleep in front of the TV but she never slept in her bed after 3.30AM. She will take her coffee at 5. Pack her bag and leave for the gym at 6. She will leave the gym at 7, pass by Starbuck to take her latte with no sugar, buy her newspaper and rush into the subway.

This morning was like any other morning, she turned off the TV at 5, went to the kitchen to make her morning coffee. Went back to the bedroom, grabbed her bag with her runners, sat at the end of her bed while pulling on her socks. She was staring at the Medals and Cups displayed in front of her on top of the chest, a sad look on her face. Stood up with her bag, turn off the lights before closing her bedroom door. She drank her coffee in the dark, a dim light coming through the kitchen windows was reflecting on the zinc...she looked outside, the city seemed asleep. She throw away the rest of her coffee and grabbed her keys. She looked at herself in the mirror before leaving, put a frail smile on her face and locked the door.

The gym was almost empty when she arrived, she started the treadmill, turned on her ipod, the music started... Hometown Glory, Adele.



She run for 30 minutes, took a shower, dried her hair, put on some blush on her face and left the gym. Went by Starbuck, bought her Latte to go, then rushed into the subway with her newspaper.

She arrived at the office at 7.30, nobody was here, except for the cleaning lady who was doing the vacuuming. Sat in front of her computer and started to work. As always at noon her sister Lea was calling her, for the past 4 years...
Lea- how are u
Her- i m fine
Lea- did u eat this morning
Her (lying)- yes, a big bagel with cream cheese
Lea- u d better eat something, u already lost enough weight
Her- I know, don t worry I m fine
It was the same conversation, each day at noon with her sister. She never lied to her sister before but how could she tell her, she would not understand.

She left the office at 1 to buy a bottle of water, an apple and a 2 slices of bread for her lunch, sat on the bench in the small park in front of her office. Ate her apple while giving small pieces of her bread to the birds and squirrels who were coming here every day.
A mother with her little girl came by and sat next to her. She was wearing a ballerina costume.
'Mum I wanna be a dancer, the best one and Nathan will be my partner'
She startled when she heard the name 'Nathan', a sad look went back on her face, she closed her eyes.
4 years ago she had a perfect life...she was a strong and independent business woman and a very talented salsa dancer. She won many competitions and shared her success with her dance partner Nathan. He was more than a dance partner, he was her best friend, for 15 years, the one who could understand her better than anyone else. She has been in love with him for many years but never been able to confess it till the day he told her he was gay. She left apart her feelings for him and became his best friend, the one he could talk to, the one who could understand him better than anyone else.
She heard the little girl giggling 'Nathan will be my dance partner for life'. She wiped her tear and went back to the office.
She left the office at 10, and went back home. Undressed and went to bed at 11.

November 15th, 3:30AM...staring at this red light from her alarm clock. This time she did not even look at the ceiling nor even trying to close her eyes, forcing herself to sleep. She got up...wrote something on a note, opened her dresser and grabbed a belt...

As usual every day for the past 4 years Lea was calling her sister at noon to check on her since she lost her friend Nathan. She remembered when her sister called her in the middle of the night, a little bit after 3:30AM in the morning, crying, telling her that her friend hanged himself with his belt and she did not see anything, she did not suspect anything. He left her a note with 3 words on it 'I am sorry', a note she kept in her wallet for the past 4 years.
She grabbed her cellphone to ring her, when the phone started vibrating. She picked up the phone 'Hello...speaking...what...no...' she dropped the phone and fell on the floor.
One year later, on November 15th, Lea bought a new wallet, hers was getting old, she removed everything to transfer it to her new wallet. She was about to throw it when a small note dropped down on the table, she opened it, 3 words were written on it 'I am sorry'.


I am not a writer nor i pretend to become one, my English need a severe improvement and I apologies in advance if u find it boring or amateur, I just fell like writing, it is purely fictional, therefore the topic is unfortunately not a fiction. 'There are an estimated 10 to 20 million non-fatal attempted suicides every year' Wikipedia ...Can we prevent it ... I don t think so... but we can ask for help

To my Grandpa...
May ur Sunday be an happy Sunday people.

45 people read it till the end and comment on it ;):

•♥•♥Vicky♥•♥• said...

wow..where did this come from.
i am a fan now :)

gr8 story as as i suspected another sad ending

Hemanth Potluri said...

cess totally out of mind...i was thinking it was some love stry but..perfect written...ending was tragic but ...yes its got good message to pass on loved it...good work sweetie..:)..u to have a Happy Sunday :)..

urs..hemu..

Tarun said...

Sad but true.

Abhinav said...

I am not a writer nor i pretend to become one

But you are a wonderful writer.. Even if this is a piece of fiction but its really very touching.. We might not prevent anyone from doing 'it' but certainly we can distract that person from doing 'it'...

~Y2A~ }:-I

ANWESA said...

it was touching indeed!

Renu said...

It was touching:),, ifeel, that with more communication we cant reduce the no of suicides, becuase sucide is done most of the time impulsiveley, and if that moment can be delayed......anything can happen.

Ria said...

Beautifully written babes!u write really well and i felt the ending was a bit sad. :( I dunno why do ppl decide to end their lives coz there is so much more to life....

Vinz aka Vinu said...

nice concept.
salsa,gay, suicide all mixed..!!

good venturing my friend..!!
keep on writing and fine tune yourself..!!

kudos..!!

Swats said...

BEAUTIFUL..ENGAGING..AWESOME.. I was so engrossed..tho I predicted the end

whtever made u think ur an amateur writer..

I want more of this :D

Chriz said...

happy sunday to you too.. wanna dance? tragedy girl... good work ...

Ani said...

wow girl

that was just awessommmee..
i really had goosebumps at the end of it.. so sad though.. oh well..
i dont know what the ppl were thinking when they finally decided to end their life.. n what difference would have been if they asked for help..

hope ur having a nice sunday..

Cess said...

@ •♥•♥Vicky♥•♥•

++ i am a fan now :)++ thanks

++gr8 story as as i suspected another sad ending++ I know, unfortunately i wrote a couple of stories or pictured some in my mind and most of them have a sad ending :( So i wont wrote them all the time I still have to be funny as well, don t wanna depressed everybody :)
tc
C.

Cess said...

@ Hemu

Hi,
thanks and yes i m trying to have a good sunday, i m a bit confused today, but i put my trouble mind on a shopping therapy :)

take care

C.

Cess said...

@ Tarun

Hey, thanks, I know, the few stories I mad are not that funny :(

C.

Cess said...

@ Abhinav

++But you are a wonderful writer.. Even if this is a piece of fiction but its really very touching...++

hey, thanks for the compliments dude
Take care
C.
PS: hope u re doing good :)

Cess said...

@ ANWESA

Thanks and thanks for passing by

C.

Cess said...

@Renu

++It was touching:),, ifeel, that with more communication we cant reduce the no of suicides, becuase sucide is done most of the time impulsiveley, and if that moment can be delayed......anything can happen.++
Thanks, as for the suicide, well, I think years ago it was difficult, my granpa gave up his life, he had a disease that u can t really fix, though my mum have the same disease now but there is medicine or help that can control my mum temper, it s still scary but i think some support from friends and family, some help for doctors can help a lot people.

tc

C.

Cess said...

@ Ria

Thanks Ria.
As for the suicide, it s hard to describe there is many reason y people are doing it, i don t see myself doing it cause i don t like to suffer :) My grandpa did it,i never had a chance to met him, I guess the world war II did not help him :(

C.

Cess said...

@ Vinz aka Vinu

Thanks specially coming from u, means a lot, cause i love the way u write :)

tc

C.

Cess said...

@ Swats

++BEAUTIFUL..ENGAGING..AWESOME.. I was so engrossed..tho I predicted the end++ thanks

++I want more of this :D++ u will, but it usually won t be funny, it is mostly sad stories i have in mind, so keep looking for Monday Morning Jokes if u wanna laugh too :D

tc

C.

Cess said...

@ Chriz

++ wanna dance? tragedy girl... good work ...++

Thanks

C.

PS: i d love to dance :)

Cess said...

@Ani
++ that was just awessommmee..
i really had goosebumps at the end of it.. so sad though..++
Thanks
++i dont know what the ppl were thinking when they finally decided to end their life.. n what difference would have been if they asked for help..++ there is a difference trust me, read my reply to Renu :)

I m sunday is not too bad, at least it is sunny outside :)

C.

descrying the shadows said...

tht was lovely di ....

Cess said...

@ Bhai,

thanks

talk to u on monday

C.

ceedy said...

Wonderful..

Why the postscript...we are not all writers - nor we have to sell books...we are here to exhange ideas and read and have fun....

so write without apprehension....

(tho there were some spelling errors in the post script too :P)

hope you write more

Cess said...

@ ceedy

he he, I was waiting for ur comment actually.

++so write without apprehension....++ thanks though it s not easy, see when i read ur stories or Vinz or Jane one, when it s so easy to read, using so many nice word, and when i m coming with my english, using same words, i look like a teenager :)

++tho there were some spelling errors in the post script too :P++ he he that will be my French Touch Signature for all the spelling errors :)

++ hope you write more++ thanks for the encouragement i ll do from time to time :)

tc

C.

Ani said...

cess i meant..

what difference it would have made.. had they asked for help..
going to check the reply what u made for renu.. and post my comments on that now

Ani said...

cess..

i truely agree .. and am sure.. u r mom will be just fine.. coz u guys will always be at hand for her.. and to take care of her..

huggzz.. hope the weekends going well.. had navaratri night for the past 3 nights.. am sooo tired..

Keshi said...

Great writeup girl!

Alot of ppl find Suicide something so difficult to u'stand. Only cos they havent been in that person's shoes.

hv a good week ahead girl HUGS!

Keshi.4

Cinderella. said...

Hey it was nice !

Cess said...

@ Ani
++i truely agree .. and am sure.. u r mom will be just fine.. coz u guys will always be at hand for her.. and to take care of her..++ my mum is greatly surrounded by friends and family so i feel less stressed for not living closer from her

++ navaratri night for the past 3 nights.. am sooo tired..++ what s navaratri night?

C.

Cess said...

@ Keshi

++ Great writeup girl!++ thanks

++Only cos they havent been in that person's shoes.++ it is still hard to understand i don t see myself capable of doing it cause i don t like to suffer phisically :) but everybody who choose to die have his own reasons so...

tc

C.

Cess said...

@ Cinderella.

Hey thanks

Thanks for passing by

C.

Ani said...

cess

well its actually a festival called dussera.. were u have all the rituals and then dances happening..
so went out for dancing hehe :)
it actually happens for all the ten days of the festival.. but more ppl turn out during the weekend

Cess said...

@Ani

++well its actually a festival called dussera.. were u have all the rituals and then dances happening..
so went out for dancing hehe :)
it actually happens for all the ten days of the festival.. but more ppl turn out during the weekend++

It sounds like fun, we do have big week party in France where i m from as well, where is lots of music, food and alcohol, some dancing, but more free concerts and stuff it s pretty cool as well, it s in June :)

C.

Ani said...

hehe cess one can always have party.. it all depends on the company..
so what is that festival all about??

this is a picture that i got from the net.. we burn effigies and the fire crackers.. well there is quite a long story.. wont bore u with that right now :)

http://www.shunya.net/Pictures/Misc/Gurgaon/Dussehra02.jpg

Cess said...

@Ani
++ so what is that festival all about??++
Here what i found in english :
A festive break in Nîmes life, the bullfights at Pentecost attract nearly a million visitors. For five days, the bull is king.

Started in 1952, it lasts five days, (from the Thursday to the Monday of Pentecost). After the fashion of the Munich Oktoberfest, it is one of the most popular festivals in Europe. But people don't come to Nîmes just for the bullfights. They come for the party atmosphere, the pastis and Fino sherry, and the music. They stay for the street entertainment, the extravagance, the bodegas. And they come back for the ambiance and the encounters they have made.

SO usually there some Corrida which is s Spanish bull fighting A man versus a bull, i don t like to watch it at all, i m coming for the pary, music, drink, food, dance in the evening, with nice weather. I went with my ant this year and some friends of her it was awesome!!!!!

Tell me about that festival, u can send me a mail, if u re bored and u need to pass time :)
cecileire@gmail.com :)

Ani said...

wow thats so coolll

hnnm guess should make the trip during that time.. well should plan it before hand.. coz am sure loads of ppl will try to get there during that time..

hehe well how did u guess.. i am currently jobless.. lol..
well u asked for it now.. hehe so do expect my mail quite soon.. :)

Cess said...

@ Ani

++hnnm guess should make the trip during that time.. well should plan it before hand.. coz am sure loads of ppl will try to get there during that time..++ don t worry, if i m around at that time, u will have a place to stay for sure!!!!

++well u asked for it now.. hehe so do expect my mail quite soon.. :)++
I m counting on it :)

stony said...

Keshi

* Alot of ppl find Suicide something so difficult to u'stand. Only cos they havent been in that person's shoes.

Beg to differ. Most of the people don't attempt suicide under the worst emotional and physical conditions. It is only a very few vulnerable persons who attempt (sometimes even at slightest emotional disturbance). Others keep fighting their way out.

@Cess

Nice post.

Cess said...

@Stony

Thanks :)

C.

Keshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keshi said...

dun agree Stony :)

Suicide doesnt ALWAYS happen with ppl who r emotionally vulnerable. Some of the smartest and strongest ppl commit suicide too...some ppl face situations in life where death may seem better than life. And we r not in place to judge.


Im not justifying Suicide...Im just saying that no one can JUDGE another person's feelings, situations, actions etc 100%, unless we ourselves r THAT PERSON.



Keshi.

stony said...

@ Keshi

* dun agree Stony :)

Great! we got one point of disagreement :)

* Suicide doesnt ALWAYS happen with ppl who r emotionally vulnerable.

Agreed. By vulnerable, I meant having suicidal tendency.

* Some of the smartest and strongest ppl commit suicide too...

I think they LOOK strong. People commiting suicide cannot be strong. They may be reckless.

* some ppl face situations in life where death may seem better than life.

And sometimes, suicide-triggers are too flimsy to justify a suicide.

And there are numerous people who live through situations that are perfect for suicide.

* Im just saying that no one can JUDGE another person's feelings, situations, actions

Oh... I mistook judging for justifying. My fault.

Keshi said...

hey tnxx Stony!

**And there are numerous people who live through situations that are perfect for suicide.


thats where we often make the mistake of JUDGING everyone under the same light of emotional capacity. Not all of us made the same way.


Keshi.