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- Waiting end of August to be back to France and see my family...

- 'Summer' is almost over here .... ;(

- It is migraines' week.... ;(
.

Y



I worked 3 damn months so hard for that, I spent more than 40 hours weekly at work just to make it work, without being paid more. I did everything they asked me to do. I received some positive feedback that I was doing it the right way. Then I wait 2 weeks, the longest 2 weeks ever. I was not able to sleep for a month, my BP is dramatically increasing, i was getting irritated easily therefore I tried so hard, so damn hard... and for what? NOTHING! Let me ask u a question? Y? Why? WHY?
I wanted to go to India with work in November, and they did not give me that opportunity. The reasons were a copy/paste from last time. An other blabla ...
It was the most important thing, the thing that kept me sane here, kept me alive, and they refused to give it to me like they don t give a shit anyway.
I was trusting somebody 3 months ago, I don t trust her anymore, I don t care anymore about what she s gonna say in the coming months, i m done with it. I put my health in danger last month I won t do it anymore.
I know now, more than anything, that i won t stay long here, I will go to India on my own, after all I have a wedding to attend in February :) so I will come... but i m done hoping in my work, it is just a waist of time, a big waist of time. No more over time i ll be paid the same anyway, y bother right?
Today I was supposed to do my humorous speech contest but I did not attend it due to a strike from my Humorous Department, I m not in a funny mood. I m still angry, frustrated, to make it worst the weather is cold and rainy, I m alone.... just alone, away from my family and friends and low. I feel like i wasted 4 months of life, hurt myself to be badly rejected so what s the point trying?


I know I know for some of u it won t be a big deal, after all i did not loose anybody, I just lost my Dignity today, and I won t happen again here, no more bullshit, i m done with it, i m just doing what i m pay for it, and that s it, nothing else till I find a better place where i can be useful and not just a number among hundreds of number.
U don t have to comment on it, if u don t feel like, i m not asking for pity nor compassion, i m just using my blog as an outlet to express my sorrow/frustration :( I ll be back soon ...

Music: Close (Telepopmusik)

41 people read it till the end and comment on it ;):

Winnie the poohi said...

ah! we both are in angry mood today!

Umm indulge urself in someway... chocolates are the best!

--xh-- said...

"after all i did not loose anybody, I just lost my Dignity today" - For me, my dignity and respect are impotent and losing them is something I will never allow - i do understand you frustration and the best way to take it is to pour it out like you did.

never give up, fight back, and be back to your self soon...

HOBO said...

Welome to India...
Welcome to Mumbai
:)

τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...

who's giving u pity...gal
come to india on feb..take a holiday and work lighter...
we will rock then..okay

now

calm down

boss are always morons :P

*hugz*
and take care of ur health... :)afta all u have to be healthy for the world tour in our pirate ship..remember ???

Renu said...

Oh Cess, I feel so bad for u, but dont be disheartened, and dont ever change urself for some people who didnt realise ur worth.Sincere and good people are always better off, because u r at piece with urself.
These things happen with everybody and make u strong.
Take care of ur health !
If u come to Chennai, mail me:)

•♥•♥Vicky♥•♥• said...

in feb hmmm
i will be busy with my Project training..if u coming to delhi..will try to meet up.

bosses are always like that..full of shit..it's their job to do that.

Keshi said...

how much r u worth? priceless. So dun let ppl walk all over u. A job or an acquaintance is worth losing but certainly not ur dignity.


Also, I believe there's a right time for everything. so whether we like it or not, things dun just take shape until that time comes. I see u going to India soon tho...hv hope, stay focused, believe.


cheer up and HUGS! Everything will be alright in the end.


Keshi.

descrying the shadows said...

make sure tht department of yours gets back to work soon ..
*BIG HUG*

Hemanth Potluri said...

hmmm ...no pity for u cess..u come to india for my birthday itself :P...we will rock it..all over the place..:)..and dont be soo angry..i am here to listen to ..:)...u can count on me as always ..:)..

u please take care of ur health ..nothin is imp then health...i think u understand me ...:)..

lots of hugs..:)..

urs..hemu..

Ani said...

sweets i agree with keshi .. u r priceless.. so dont let ppl make u feel otherwise.. its really not worth it..

i'm sure u r feeling better now..and ur Humorous Department is back from the strike as well.. hugggzzz.. dont worry it will be all fine..
and am sure at the end it will be worth all the trouble and the pain..

so when u plannin to go.. am thinking of heading home during that time as well :)

Vinz aka Vinu said...

oh cess...on top of frustrations.!!

calm..no one is gonna value..hence dont let you feel your dignity is affected..!!

there is a saying, 'without your permission no body can upset you"

hell with all those situations..get back to your self and bounce and brim with joy..!!

take care

Scribblers Inc said...

jeez, you seem to be working real hard...the thing will pass..

Scribblers Inc.

Swats said...

Oh of course, blogging is an amazing de-stressor!
Keep blogging!

Something good is in store for u..i am sure abt it :D

Swats said...

Oh of course, blogging is an amazing de-stressor!
Keep blogging!

Something good is in store for u..i am sure abt it :D

Tarun said...

Oh I think this happen with everyone.
Just keep the focus on things at hand.

:)

Cess said...

@ Winnie the poohi

sorry to hear u re angry too. I got some chocolate today it did not really help since while I was digesting the bad news, i got hit a second time with all that management bullshit!
shit happens as i say quite often!

tc
C.

Cess said...

@ --xh--

++For me, my dignity and respect are impotent and losing them is something I will never allow - i do understand you frustration and the best way to take it is to pour it out like you did.++ well trust me I wish I would not loose my dignity, but what can i do, work sucks big time sometimes.

++ never give up, fight back, and be back to your self soon...++
I will, I just need some time to process it :)

tc

C.

Cess said...

@ HOBO

he he, I ll be in mumbai in february, I need a tour guide :D

C.

Cess said...

@τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя

++ come to india on feb..take a holiday and work lighter...++
I ll be there

++ and take care of ur health... :)afta all u have to be healthy for the world tour in our pirate ship..remember ???++ he he, yeah i remember :)

tc

C.

Cess said...

@ Renu
++ and dont ever change urself for some people who didnt realise ur worth.++ thanks Renu

++If u come to Chennai, mail me:)++
I ll be there around the 13th of march, I have a wedding to attend in Chennai, that is the reason y i m coming :D

tc
C.

Cess said...

@ •♥•♥Vicky♥•♥•

++ i will be busy with my Project training..if u coming to delhi..will try to meet up.++ i ll pass by around beginning of march :)

++ bosses are always like that..full of shit..it's their job to do that.++
so true my friend

C.

Cess said...

@ Keshi

++how much r u worth? priceless. ++ thanks sweetie


++ I see u going to India soon tho...hv hope, stay focused, believe.++ I will go, it s not because a bunch of ass won t let me go that i can t go on my own

yeah, i m still processing it, i ll cheer later :)

tc

C.

Cess said...

@descrying the shadows

Department is still close Sid, I m still processing it.

Di

Cess said...

@Hemanth Potluri

++i am here to listen to ..:)...u can count on me as always ..:)..++ Thanks Hemu

don t worry it will be over soon

tc

C.
PS: walk tall with confidence for me please, it will make me feel better, I know u understand me :D

Cess said...

@Ani

++sweets i agree with keshi .. u r priceless.. so dont let ppl make u feel otherwise.. its really not worth it..++ Thanks Ani, u re sweet

++.and ur Humorous Department is back from the strike as well.. ++
I m still processing it, have lots of frustration to get out, anyway i ll be there for my Monday Morning Jokes, if not before

++ so when u plannin to go.. am thinking of heading home during that time as well :)++
hopefully a month, middle of Feb till middle of March, 2 weeks in Hyd for work, a wedding in Chennai to attend and other cities to visit.
Hope to see u there:)
Where are u at the moment?

C.

Cess said...

@Vinz aka Vinu

++ there is a saying, 'without your permission no body can upset you"++
yeah, well in business they certainly don t give a shit about it, I wish I could be over it and that all bullshit don t affect me but it does, cause unfortunately, work is the only thing where i always perform well, and when i m not recognize for my work it hurts badly :(

I ll be back soon, thanks for the support!

tc

C.

Cess said...

@Scribblers Inc

Yes i m taking it way too seriously for nothing, I learned my lesson, it won t happen again here :)

thanks for passing, I wish it would have been on a more funny post :)

tc

c.

Cess said...

@Swats

++Oh of course, blogging is an amazing de-stressor!++ he he it is, I will don t worry :)

++Something good is in store for u..i am sure abt it :D++
Well i m going in Mexico in 16 days, I meet a very rich man here, so I can quit my job and do a world trip, stopping by India.
Where are u living in India?

tc

C.

Cess said...

@Tarun

++Oh I think this happen with everyone
++ I m sure it is, but it happens to u it s harder to process :(

C.

Ani said...

cess

i'm right in dundee..

am still fidling with the dates.. chennai is where my parents are right now.. so lets see.. how things goo.. fingers crossed..

Tarun said...

I agree...
Thats why I said focus.
Focus on thing which U have to do ...

If u do it under sll constraints after a while, wheel of fortune will start turning in ur favour

Keshi said...

how r u feeling today Cess? I hope a lil less frustrated? HUGS!

U know, let me share this incident with u that happened in blogville in the last 2 days or so. mebbe it'll make u feel better.

I go to this really funny and R-rated blog (name censored). The author is a nice guy and quite honest n all. He comes to my blog too and always leaves rude, ridiculous and funny one-liners, even when my posts were serious or when Im sad. But I never threw a hissy fit at him...I just accepted him just the way he is. Cos ya know, he was his own person and I cud say anything in his blog too. But 2 days ago, he wrote a very demeaning post abt one of his ex-GFs...and I really cudnt believe that story! Cos no one in the right mind wud write such a horrible story abt his ex, no matter what kinda person she was. So my comment to him in that post was 'bullshit'. Cos I thought it was all LIES. Thats all I meant by that comment.


Guess what happened? He, the guy that never took anything seriously, the guy who used more profanity in his blog than anyone I ever knew, GOT OFFENDED BY MY ONE WORD COMMENT. :) He asked me to 'respect' his (rather disrespectful) post and write more than just one word comments. On top of that, his female friends got together and bitched at me and called me this and that. I didnt say anything more than that...I thought I hit them at the right spot...so I just left that space for good. :)


My point is, ppl r so unpredictable. They may behave in a manner that gives u one impression, but will behave totally different when u give them a taste of their own medicine.


So Cess, how abt confront this person who's getting u down...how abt giving them a taste of their own meds? :)


*HUGZ*


Keshi.

Ashish said...

heyy...cheer up babes.. even i m in the same situation :( ... extra working hours each day and no extra pay

ceedy said...

Y i ask you too have you lost yourself....hope to see your funny self soon

Cess said...

@Tarun
++ If u do it under sll constraints after a while, wheel of fortune will start turning in ur favour++
I hope so...though my degrees of hope is decreasing day after day here...
Thanks for the advice

C.

Cess said...

@Keshi

++On top of that, his female friends got together and bitched at me and called me this and that. ++ OMG, i can t believe it, are they brainless or what? jeezzz, there is some crazy people out there!

Well I did what u said, I got some bullshit answers! So i m done trying to please them, i ll do my job and that s it, i will go to India on holidays then i ll figure it out something regarding my career/life. I trashed my stress in the bin.

Thanks for sharing that with me Keshi.

u take care dear

C.

Cess said...

@ Ashish

++heyy...cheer up babes.. even i m in the same situation :(++
That s y u don t post that much :( Please post :D

tc

C.

Cess said...

@ ceedy

Thanks Ceedy

Well the Hope Department is on strike while the Humorous Department is on its way back :D

C.

ceedy said...

Hope department is hopeless...humour is the and should be the new boss ;)

Cess said...

@ Ceedy

Damn ur good! I got my new leitmotiv.
Thanks :DDD

C.

Keshi said...

hey ty Cess!

yes some women dun even stop to look what really happened...instead they immediately try to protect their male friends and trash others. brainless I must say.



**I trashed my stress in the bin.

Way to go! stamp it and chuck it away babe. Ur peace of mind is bigger than them. HUGZ!



Keshi.