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MOnday Morning Jokes
WARNING:
So today Jokes are:
What's on your back?
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an French, and a Belgium (u can change the nationality to make it more funny, I changed it for myself), and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Belgium, "What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!" says the Belgium, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.
"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the French.
He responds, "I'll take the Belgium."
The Blond Jokes:
And I apologize first for any blond who will read my post, nothing against them, u can switch the blond by the brunette if you want ;)
A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
---------
A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches every part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks, "Where you a natural Blonde?" "Yes I was." she replies. "why do you ask?" The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"
These were the jokes of my first Monday Morning Jokes, tell me if u like it, so i can continue my MMJ each Monday Morning ;)And to finish, a funny video the Ninja Cat...enjoy!
37 people read it till the end and comment on it ;):
i loved the last one..my stomach still feelin the after effects.
monday mornings ..for me all mornings are same..i sleep at 6 a.m. usually and wake up at 11 .a.m.
so all mornings are so wonderful for me..always lost in ma dreams. ;)
take care and i am stalking your blog Cess.
@ •♥•♥Vicky♥•♥•
my god, what s going on with u and Sid, going to sleep so late well early in the mornin!!! and sleeping just a few hours!!!
What s ur job? student?
In a way it s cool for me since we have the time zoning difference so i can talk longer ;)
I m happy u laughed today, If i can make u laugh one day by week it s a good start ;)
thanks for being my blog-stalker :D
take care
C.
oh yeah i am a student...a student that is way smarter that all his teachers :D
so i don't go to college to save my time and i stay at home planning the bigger things that i have to accomplish in coming years.
yeah it's way cool
add me if u wanna on gtalk
id- is in ma profile.
don't u worry i am the best stalker around. :D :D
hahaha
the first one and the last one are the best...!
But aahhh, its Monday again! :-(
what do you call Thanks in French by the way?
Merci beaucoup for the award..
the blonde joke was a god one..lol
yes you can continue this MMJ for sure...people who get to office and cribs on Monday Sucks slogans can have a break..!!
:)
wow super funny LOL! ty girl u made me laff on a Monday? Thats a rare! :)
Blonde moments...I hv a many ;-) u should read my past post. lolz!
Hey I emailed ya...let me know when u've done it all ok? MWAH!
Keshi.
:-) this is definitely a good way to begin a Monday morning :-D keep the jokes coming.. I love the first blond joke :-D
ha ha .. nice one di .. btw did ya know the motto of my company is "thank god! it's monday "
:(
:(
i am not one of the many victims of 'monday morning blues' coz at the moment, im freelancing..working frm home yayyyyyyy ;-)
but gr8 approach! keep smiling n spread the love!
happy to c that u r happy and optimistic!!! :)
and morning mornings usually sucks... so u cud have said that!! lolzzzz
and the jokes.. are funny... but techically in ur 2nd joke u have said that the blonde can replace blonde with brunette... but then there is already a brunette in the joke... so whos the joke on!!! :P :P
figure it out!! ;)
:D
CheerS!!
@ •♥•♥Vicky♥•♥•
++at home planning the bigger things that i have to accomplish in coming years.++ oooooh u woke up my curiosity ;D i ll add u on gtalk today ;)
tc
C.
@Abhinav
++But aahhh, its Monday again! :-(++ I know BUT at least u laugh this monday morning :)
++ Merci beaucoup for the award..++
Perfect french ;)
@Vinz aka Vinu
++ yes you can continue this MMJ for sure...people who get to office and cribs on Monday Sucks slogans can have a break..!!++ yeah!!! thanks ;) I will ;)
@ Keshi
I m happy I made u laugh ;)
++Blonde moments...I hv a many ;-) u should read my past post. lolz!++ I have some as well everybody have one ;)
++Hey I emailed ya...let me know when u've done it all ok? MWAH!++ Replied already :)
tc
C.
@--xh--
++:-) this is definitely a good way to begin a Monday morning :-D keep the jokes coming.. I love the first blond joke :-D++
Thanks for the support, I will :)
Have a good monday ;)
C.
@ descrying the shadows
++ did ya know the motto of my company is "thank god! it's monday "++
OMG that s bad bad! It would be even worse for me to go to work on monday with that kind of slogan!!!!
tc Bhai.
Di
@Swats
++i am not one of the many victims of 'monday morning blues' coz at the moment, im freelancing..working frm home yayyyyyyy ;-)++ Good for u, I wish i can be a freelance now ;)
++keep smiling n spread the love!++ that s nice slogan ;)
Peace
C.
@Ankur
++happy to c that u r happy and optimistic!!! :)++ well i m trying, it s only 9 o clock in here, so just the beginning of the monday for me ;)
++and morning mornings usually sucks... ++ so True cause i m not a morning person ;)
++ but techically in ur 2nd joke u have said that the blonde can replace blonde with brunette... but then there is already a brunette in the joke... so whos the joke on!!! ++
pffff I said u can switch dude, so u can put the blonde first instead of the brunette, and leave the last sentence (which is supposed to be the funny one) at the end for the brunette...see what i m thinking now ;) Ain t u a bit blond? LOL
tc
C.
hahahaha...veryyy funny...LOL..blondes r always the butt of jokes..hehe....ohh boy i can understand abt the blus..since i am currently in Kuwait, for me its staurday blues and sunday blues...lol/// and some days i try to b so cheerful :)
@ Enigma said...
++ for me its staurday blues and sunday blues...lol/// and some days i try to b so cheerful :)++ I do have some saturday and sunday blues but i m guess i m only living in ireland it s not like Kuwait so i won t complain on it.
Take care\
C.
LOL...I knew the last one...first one was good..
but OMG..LMAO..ROFL...the video...got me grinning all over..especially the last 5 secs.. :D...I love cats...ahhh...thanks for making me laugh in the middle of night... :D
you miss...are good...I love ya.. :p
and btw...add one more..lunatic to your list...I sleep at 8 in the morning...and wake up at 2 P.M...
...ah the..peace in the night.. :D
tk cr,
Zub.. :)
@Zubin said...
++ but OMG..LMAO..ROFL...the video...got me grinning all over..especially the last 5 secs.. :D...I love cats...ahhh...thanks for making me laugh in the middle of night... :D++ i m glad i make u laugh in the middle of the night :) and u talked about the video cause nobody mentioned it!
++and btw...add one more..lunatic to your list...I sleep at 8 in the morning...and wake up at 2 P.M...++ what s going on with u people!!! seriously! y can t u sleep at night? what are u doing during the day too? working? studying?
I love the night too, but i have to work in the morning and it sucks!
tc
C.
@Zubin
btw, again sorry for my lack of knowledge but what :
LMAO..ROFL mean?
;)
C.
LMAO=laughing my ass off.. :D
ROFL=Rolling on the floor laughing.. :)
And its not the lack of knowledge..its the lack of chatting abbreviations..:p
...and comm'on..a CAT video..?I can't miss one.. :D..nothing's wrong actually..I have just finished college..I used to study..or complete assignments in the night...The habit got stuck..I'll start working in a few months...so I'll have to improve my schedule..these day..I just sit in front of my computer..all night long...keep watching "F.R.I.E.N.D.S"..or read blogs..or see movies..just wasting time you see...but then I also meet new friends like you.. :)
@ Zubin
++its the lack of chatting abbreviations..:p++ thanks :)
++keep watching "F.R.I.E.N.D.S"..or read blogs..or see movies..just wasting time you see...but then I also meet new friends like you.. :)++
thanks too ;) i like to stay late night, and I m glad some of u in India stay late so I can discuss longer ;)
C.
You are welcome.. :)
P.S: woot at that blond cartoon.. :D :p
do continue it! You can expect me as a regular Monday visitor if you do :D :D
ty! its looking gooooooood! ;-) I replied too.
*HUGZ*
Keshi.
nice jokes....
heheheheh
but I loved the blonde temperament.....
the way she jumped...hehehehe
but I loved the song like never before.......
:)
hahahahaha rofl...every week u make me laugh and fall on the ground..everyone in my office had seen ur post it rocked ...
blond moments wer cool hahahah..
ur rock cess...
urs..hemu..
@ Winnie the poohi
Thanks ;)))
I will!!!!
Tc
C.
@τ ħ€ ĐάЎđяёάmёя said...
Glad u like my MMJ :D
++ but I loved the song like never before.......++ what song?
tc
C.
@ Hemanth Potluri
++hahahahaha rofl...every week u make me laugh and fall on the ground..everyone in my office had seen ur post it rocked ...++
Glad to have u back here Hermanth, was a bit worried with ur last post and with no updates after it. Hope u are alright, do come back every monday if u need to laugh ;)
u take care
C.
monday morningss.. oh well.. another 5 days before we can sit back n relax.. i always think that the weekend goes by so very fast..
hehe i really loved the ninja cat.. hehe that was really very cool ..
Sorry am late....it was a good post...
hope the rest of the week goes well...:)
@ ceedy
++Sorry am late....it was a good post...
hope the rest of the week goes well..++
he he dont worry, as for the rest of the weekend, well it could be better, but nothing to be dramatic ;)
@ ani
++always think that the weekend goes by so very fast.. ++ way too fast that s right :(
++hehe i really loved the ninja cat.. hehe that was really very cool ..++
glad u like it
tc
C.
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